How Children Can Understand and Process Hospice and Death

10 Jun How Children Can Understand and Process Hospice and Death

Learn how to help children understand hospice and cope with the death of a loved one through age-appropriate guidance and emotional support.

Death is difficult for adults to process, and even more so for children. When a loved one enters hospice care, children often sense that something is wrong, even if they don’t fully understand it. With the right support, children can face these difficult moments with clarity, comfort, and emotional resilience.

Hospice teams recognise the importance of including children in the family’s journey and providing age-appropriate ways to understand and process what’s happening.

Should Children Be Involved?

Yes — in most cases, including children in conversations about hospice and death helps them feel safe, valued, and less confused. Shielding them from the truth can increase fear and imagination-based worries.

Children Need:

• Honest explanations that they can understand
• Reassurance that their feelings are normal
• Opportunities to ask questions
• Loving support from trusted adults

Every child is different, and responses to death may vary widely by age, personality, and relationship to the dying person.

How to Explain Hospice and Death to Children

Use language that is gentle, direct, and developmentally appropriate. Here are a few approaches by age:

Toddlers & Preschoolers (Ages 2–5)

• Use simple, concrete words: “Grandpa is very sick and the doctors can’t make him better.”
• Reassure them they are safe and cared for.
• Expect repeated questions — repetition is part of processing.

School-Aged Children (Ages 6–12)

• Offer more detail, but avoid overwhelming them: “Hospice means we’re making Grandma comfortable while she dies.”
• Encourage them to express feelings through art, play, or words.
• Let them participate in visits or simple rituals, if they want to.

Teens (Ages 13+)

• Speak honestly and invite open conversations.
• Respect their desire for privacy or space to process.
• Offer resources like grief counselling or teen support groups.

Signs a Child May Be Struggling

Watch for changes in behaviour, such as:

• Trouble sleeping or eating
• Withdrawal or increased irritability
• Regression (bedwetting, clinginess)
• Academic struggles or loss of interest in activities

These may be signs of grief, even if the child hasn’t spoken openly about it.

How Hospice Can Help

Hospice social workers and grief counsellors are trained to support families with children. Services may include:

• Child-specific grief support
• Books and resources tailored by age
• Family counseling
• Help prepare children for visits or funerals

Including children in the journey helps them build emotional resilience and reinforces that love, even in death, remains strong.

Contact us at Angel Wings Hospice https://angelwingshospice.org/contact-us/ to learn how we support families and children through every stage of end-of-life care and beyond.